F R I E N D

True friends are hard to find, most of the time, people land up with wrong people, who are difficult to adjust with. With the increasing selfishness and cut throat competition between peers, it has become more difficult to find a person, who can be blindly trusted and looked upon in need. Also, with increasing interest of people in gossip and cheap plots, betrayal of friendship has become very common. One more reason because of which friendship these days do not bloom is self- engrossed nature of most of the people. Even worse are those cases, where betrayal of friendship is done for materialistic pleasures. Coping up with a broken friendship is quite hard, more so if you have no fault of yours. But, life goes on and you make new friends. You push away your hurtful past and learn a valuable lesson from it.

KEBANGKITAN SEMULA

Sememangnya hidup ini amat sukar utk dijangka apatah lagi utk mentafsirkannya. Dahulunya aku masih di jalan yg lurus, namun skrg, tanpa aku sedari bhw kini aku hanyut dlm arus kehidupan yg mengarah keduniawian semata-mata. Terlalu byk dugaan yg tidak mampu aku tepis sehingga aku jadi alpa. Nyata, memang salah aku!

Lumrah lah, siapa kuat (rohaninya & jasmaninya) terus bertahan d jln yg benar, sebaliknya, siapa yg lemah akan terus hanyut bahkan karam ke lembah yg hina. Persoalannya pula, kuat ka aku atau lemah ka aku? Huhh..

Dlm kondisi aku, rasanya aku berada betul2 di pertengahan persimpangan jalan hidup yg memerlukan aku utk berhenti seketika & melihat apa yg tlh aku lakukan selama 24 thn aku hidup berpijak di bumi ini sblm aku meneruskan perjalanan aku yg sememangnya harus diperbetulkan dan amat menaggih kebijaksanaan aku utk memilih jln yg sesungguhnya benar.

Terlalu byk perkara sia2 aku lakukan jika hendak dibandingkan dgn kebaikan spt yg dituntut dlm hidup ini. Dlm erti kata lain, dosa lebih byk dari pahala. Ruginya hidup begini kan? Maka harusnya aku mengubah segalanya. Secara dramanya, aku harus bangun dari mimpi ngeri yg aku cipta sendiri dan mulakan semuanya dari titik permulaan.

Aku jg memohon sejuta kemaafan kepada sesiapa saja yg mungkin terluka dan terasa hati mahupun telah menjadi mangsa bahan mainan aku selama ini. Nama juga aku insan biasa yg tdk lari dr melakukan kesilapan kan? Jujurnya, aku menyesal dr lubuk hati aku yg paling dlm krn melakukan sedemikian kpd kamu yg berkenaan. Aku juga memaafkan org2 yg jg pernah menyakitkan, menyinggung, mempergunakan, mempermainkan dan paling penting tidak menghargai aku (memilih utk jadikn aku badut utk jadi brg mainan mu).

Yg penting skrg menghapuskan tompok2 hitam yg pernah aku sematkan dlm jiwa ini kpd sesuatu yg lebih putih dan cerah. Aku tahu ianya bukan sesuatu yg mudah, namun tiada ruginya utk aku berusaha kembali ke jln yg benar itu kan?

Asalkan ada kemahuan pasti ada jln utk mencapainya!

Kpd kwn2 ku harap kamu menyokong aku utk melalui proses transformasi aku dan tlg sedarkan aku sekiranya aku mulai lupa akan janji aku ni!! Ada baiknya kita saling mengingati kan selagi nyawa dikandung bdn.

*hugs*

IT’S A NEW DAY BUT IT ALL FEELS OLD TO ME

Another boring day! OMG.. OMG.. I seriously can’t stand it. Im so restless and I don’t even know what to do right now. Like somehow it felt like u’ve been bulldozed in ur sleep ok!! I can feel like a part of me is gone and my brain is bursting out of my head la.. Sigh..

The boredom is KILLING me!! Arghhh..

Yes, life was pathetic if u got nothing to do. It felt so darn sick to death man! Try to be in my shoes then only u’ll know how it felt exactly. Apparently it will drives u crazy ok. Haha.. But, am not crazy yet.. soon, maybe! But, only if I couldn’t stop myself from complaining this and that all the time la ok. Wakaka..

OMG, I better stop being non sense la ok.. or else I should seriously consider seeking professional counseling! And for real that’s wasn’t my lifelong dream after all.. Lol!!

Gotta go! Byee..

XoXo *muahhh*

aM BaCK aGaiN!!

Hey y’all! Ok, I’m so sorry cus I’ve been a bad blogger (I know right..).. I’ve been so darn lazy to blogging lately man. Yeap, very lame uhh? Sigh.. Without a doubt, I’ve always wanted to blogging, like everyday, but hell am such not that super RAJIN enough to gets my blog updated everyday la ok. But, there’s an excuse for FACEBOOK la, especially the FARMVILLE.. Haha..

It’s 2010!!

Speaking about 2009, I had a fabulous 2009. The year ended off well with my graduation on early October. Yeah, I’m GRADUATED!!! So YAY I’ve a good excuse to enjoy my so long holiday after 3 years of struggling with the assignments, notes and exams uhh. But, the sad thing is I’ve to be separated from one of my bestest BFFs “JuLia LimBan LeO” after 3 years being so closed. Lots of things that we’ve shared during that 3 years man! For sadness, happiness, and gossiping, of cos! Hehe.. She moved back to Miri after our graduation ceremony. Now, I missed her so darn much! :)

Ok, enough for being so emo! Lol!!

Over the holiday last November, I had a SUPER-GREAT time in KL with my BFFs Bebe Ghulam and Effah, and yeah my niece, of cos! We’ve had some great times there. Awww.. Yes, KL just made me happier and enjoyed the 5 days straight to the MAX ok! *wink*

New Year just fine. I did go for the countdown event with my so-called “ging karas” and enjoyed the countdown night like there’ll be no more countdown after that night. Haha.. That’s silly enough uh? Lol!

2010!! New hopes…

Job haunting!! Sigh.. JOB, this word is killing me ok! Plus, I am soOo LaZy to find one.. But, yeah I got to thinking, PLEASE laa! That is such a very lame excuse. I’d never do it as if I kept making excuses.. So, starting from now,I put on a new determination in me. And y’all know what? Despite all that challenging and reaching every hard to reach nook and cranny, I will never move backwards though! *wink*

Ok, I gotta go now. Take care y’all and have a blast day!

*Hugs and Kisses*

Eid-MubaraK 09'

It's day four of raya already!!! Oh man, i ate alot!! lots of delicious's food la bha kan, how la kan?! makin chomel la kunu? lol! haha.. Who cares either! ngehh! what la kan if i got nothing to do tonight. just relax2-ing at home like itik jak, i guess.. haha.. u see, jadi kili2 a bit now becouse of the foods la i think.. haha.. what la kan if the whole day i just stayed at home such like a good girl ni, bida oo kan if thr's nothing to do? Online-ing jak pun bikin SOT the OtaK la bha kan.. duhh! can't wait to meet up the bestest girlfriends la bha ni kan.. ohh pls la kan come back here ASAP to the girls (JULIA LIMBAN and ZAHEERAH BEBE)!! we go for jalan2, oh man can't wait already.. thr're much of things to be done babes!! capat la bha balik!!!! argghhh.. lol! ok before i got crazy here better sign out la kan if not am so sure jadi gila betul2 ni!! haha.. ok enough! nite ya'll!!!

PISSED OFF!!

What a boring day!!

Can ya’ll just imagine being around with a person who had stabbed u in the back with an sharp knife and twisted it a few times? Well, it was kind of painful, actually. Plus, it was a huge betrayal and it was darn fuckin’ awful, though!

Imagine if u already knew that person for not only few days but YEARS and she/he started to betray u, does it make sense to u? If it happens to u, will u going to speak to her/him again? Can u just imagine ever feelin’ comfortable being casual with someone after all that time of being so close, then she/he betrayed u?

It happened, seriously! Am one of the victims. Lols! I keep on thinking about it on and on, wonderin’ why it happened to me. Tell ya’ll what, I often imagined myself literally wringin’ that bloody moron sluttish’s neck and kick the ass. It was so irritatin’ and annoyin’ to befriend with this kind of person. If ever I could turn back the time and choose to not befriend with that sluttish, I swear I will!

But, hell! It was kind of WEIRDO, cause in actuality I had a respectful relationship with that sluttish, though, she has betrayed and back-stabbed me. Weird, uh? But, it’s ok then, I do believe in karma and it goes around. U’LL GET YOURS SOON MY DEAR BLOODY UGLY MORON SLUTTISH!!

Ok enough !! Lols!!

BLOGGIN' IS A THERAPEUTIC!!!

I 1st started bloggin' 5 years back through FRIENDSTER. I actually bloggin' just for the fun of it. Somehow, since my 1st blog post i found that bloggin' is the best way for me to express myself. Besides, my blog was meant to allow my friends to be updated with my life. But life has been preety busy, so i've ignored my blog for quite a long time, until i've finished with my internship.

Only then, i've decided to start bloggin' again. But this time through BLOGSPOT, of course! hee! Why I choosed bloggin' as a way to express myself? well, tell ya'll that i'm a person who prefered to hold back my feelings cause am SO not good at verbalizin' them, as i always told myself to NOT showing my vulnerable to anybody. ANYBODY!

For me, it was very the SO bloody PITEOUS and it caused myself felt awkward showing what's inside me to the rest of the world. It was like, OMG! But i ended up to start bloggin' as i found that it was the only way for me to express everything inside me. At 1st i was a little unsure about the intention of using blogspot because I’m not exactly a computer whiz and I thought it would be a bit complicated.

But, it only took me a day to get started with the Blogspot and I got my 1st blog post after a day of struggling on it. It's sounds a bit KETINGGALAN, but I’m still surprised at how easy it was to express urself through bloggin'. Lols! I mostly used my computer for checking my email and FACEBOOKING. I really wish I would have found this blogspot earlier! Lols!