Eid-MubaraK 09'

It's day four of raya already!!! Oh man, i ate alot!! lots of delicious's food la bha kan, how la kan?! makin chomel la kunu? lol! haha.. Who cares either! ngehh! what la kan if i got nothing to do tonight. just relax2-ing at home like itik jak, i guess.. haha.. u see, jadi kili2 a bit now becouse of the foods la i think.. haha.. what la kan if the whole day i just stayed at home such like a good girl ni, bida oo kan if thr's nothing to do? Online-ing jak pun bikin SOT the OtaK la bha kan.. duhh! can't wait to meet up the bestest girlfriends la bha ni kan.. ohh pls la kan come back here ASAP to the girls (JULIA LIMBAN and ZAHEERAH BEBE)!! we go for jalan2, oh man can't wait already.. thr're much of things to be done babes!! capat la bha balik!!!! argghhh.. lol! ok before i got crazy here better sign out la kan if not am so sure jadi gila betul2 ni!! haha.. ok enough! nite ya'll!!!

PISSED OFF!!

What a boring day!!

Can ya’ll just imagine being around with a person who had stabbed u in the back with an sharp knife and twisted it a few times? Well, it was kind of painful, actually. Plus, it was a huge betrayal and it was darn fuckin’ awful, though!

Imagine if u already knew that person for not only few days but YEARS and she/he started to betray u, does it make sense to u? If it happens to u, will u going to speak to her/him again? Can u just imagine ever feelin’ comfortable being casual with someone after all that time of being so close, then she/he betrayed u?

It happened, seriously! Am one of the victims. Lols! I keep on thinking about it on and on, wonderin’ why it happened to me. Tell ya’ll what, I often imagined myself literally wringin’ that bloody moron sluttish’s neck and kick the ass. It was so irritatin’ and annoyin’ to befriend with this kind of person. If ever I could turn back the time and choose to not befriend with that sluttish, I swear I will!

But, hell! It was kind of WEIRDO, cause in actuality I had a respectful relationship with that sluttish, though, she has betrayed and back-stabbed me. Weird, uh? But, it’s ok then, I do believe in karma and it goes around. U’LL GET YOURS SOON MY DEAR BLOODY UGLY MORON SLUTTISH!!

Ok enough !! Lols!!

BLOGGIN' IS A THERAPEUTIC!!!

I 1st started bloggin' 5 years back through FRIENDSTER. I actually bloggin' just for the fun of it. Somehow, since my 1st blog post i found that bloggin' is the best way for me to express myself. Besides, my blog was meant to allow my friends to be updated with my life. But life has been preety busy, so i've ignored my blog for quite a long time, until i've finished with my internship.

Only then, i've decided to start bloggin' again. But this time through BLOGSPOT, of course! hee! Why I choosed bloggin' as a way to express myself? well, tell ya'll that i'm a person who prefered to hold back my feelings cause am SO not good at verbalizin' them, as i always told myself to NOT showing my vulnerable to anybody. ANYBODY!

For me, it was very the SO bloody PITEOUS and it caused myself felt awkward showing what's inside me to the rest of the world. It was like, OMG! But i ended up to start bloggin' as i found that it was the only way for me to express everything inside me. At 1st i was a little unsure about the intention of using blogspot because I’m not exactly a computer whiz and I thought it would be a bit complicated.

But, it only took me a day to get started with the Blogspot and I got my 1st blog post after a day of struggling on it. It's sounds a bit KETINGGALAN, but I’m still surprised at how easy it was to express urself through bloggin'. Lols! I mostly used my computer for checking my email and FACEBOOKING. I really wish I would have found this blogspot earlier! Lols!

After all, aM BacK!!

Whoaa.. It’s been really awhile since my last time bloggin’, uh? Well, I’ve been through the mad rush of internship and mini thesis for few weeks ago. ~Sigh~ what a tough job it’s been, but worth it at the end. *Wink* Tell ya’ll what, am a type of person who loves last minute work. Yeah, it’s really a bad habit, but guess what, am still a SUCKER for last minute work, ok! I’ve tried extraordinarily hard to get rid of that, but I just couldn’t make it. To be frank, I don’t enjoy doin’ things earlier, it’s like no fun at all. Weird, uh? Well, that’s me! Ok lets just 4get about it.


Finally, am havin’ a bloody good time now. No more mornin’ classes, No more assignments, No more exams, No more lectures, No more notes to read, and just No More!! *Big Smile* Lols! Btw, I was wonderin’, there are a ton of famous ppl like Jim Carrey, Quentin Tarantino, Joe Di Maggio, and Mark Twain never even went to high school or finished with their high school. That’s high school, 4get about college. But, they never even bothered, yet their life was stunnin’!! (I can smell jealousy in me right now. Lol!)


Somehow, it seems like if u’re destined for greatness, u’re goin’ to get there whether u have a high school dip or not. Which makes me think that it must work the same in the other direction too. Like, if u’re destined to be a loser, nothin’ u do is goin’ to change that. Not high school, not college, nothin’!! Ok, if I put myself in this situation, I guess the best thing for me to do is just accept my destiny and if that’s the same as just givin’ up, then my instinct’s right. I am a LOSER! But, what’s the point in tryin’ when u already know u’re goin’ to fail? That just seems bloody stupid…


Back to the reality, I shouldn’t let my emotions take over, if not I’ll be outplayed. So, the best thing is, I just have to go with whatever happens, happens.. And always remember that things happened for a reason.. *smiling*


Ok, am done for today. I’ll be back with my new story soon. Take care all!!

Hard To Say “IM SORRY”

I had never been a mornin’ person & wasn’t too happy about getting’ up as early as 6 am in th mornin’ everyday. Arrrgghhhh, am so sick of it! But, by hook or by crook, I have to, for th sake of internship! Sabar aja lah kan. Lol! Another 4 weeks to go, after tht, everythin’ will get bck to normal. Hee! Btw, when I woke up this mornin’, I get immediately to ponder why it is so hard for us to say sorry. It happened! I’ve been in ths situation once (or maybe more!). No doubt, it’s so frikin’ hard to utter th words IM SORRY, especially when we’re obviously wrong.

Am sure yall gonna agree with me if I says tht just th idea of havin’ to apologise for somethin’ we’ve done fills us with dread. Don’t yall? Moreover, it gets harder when we really have done somethin’ grievously wrong, like betrayin’ a friend’s confidence or sayin’ somethin’ hurtful in a CARELESS MOMENT. Hell, such a big mistake babes! For real, I was wonderin’ why we find it so hard to utter th 2 words “IM SORRY”, is really b’cus of our pride. For me, apologizin’ & admittin’ to our mistakes take responsibility, maturity, & humility on our part. All of which are not tht easy no matter whether u’re 17 or 60! Still, however hard it is, sayin’ sorry is vital in maintainin’ our relationship with a friend, parent or siblings, & not doin’ so when thr’s a need to can only make things worse. Undeniably, it’s like any other skill & habit, we’ve got to learn how to really say sorry & mean it. After all, thr’s nothin’ to lose if a relationship could be on th mean from it!

Whoa, I have to stop now. Still have other things to do. Better get on with it though. Lols! :p

ACCEPTED BY OTHERS?

Ever been in a situation whr u've been so badly wanna be accepted by others? come on lahh, im pretty sure we've all been thr. Besides, it's an almost unexplainable social behavior, tht we're willin' to go out of our way to make sure it happens. thr're some ppl willin' to talk up their jobs, partners & social lives, & bend th truth to ensure they were viewed +vely by others. They said it's not exactly lyin', just a case of tryin' too hard to fit in. Is it? Well, for me, it's very common for ppl to act in ways they think will make 'em more likeable, but, thr must be a limit of it. cus, deviatin' too far from ur true personality can threaten u, urself! No doubt, everyone wants to be liked, & both men & women change th way they act to seek approval. Especially from th opposite sex. But, be aware of how to adapt ur personality to suit different environment. If u make fittin' in ur highest priority not only do u run a risk of being exposed as a FAKE, u may also find urself actin' in ways tht compromise ur values!

HOW CAN I TELL U IT'S MY FAULT?

Day by day, my head gets so confused. It’s hard for me to admit that am innocent. Well, am just got so brave to flirt u off! It felt so WRONG though, but it’s not my intention at the 1^st place! To be frank, those were never the way I planned! I’m just a bit hating u for ur stupid attitude, so I just wanna try u on! Ya, I knew that it’s not what good girls do & not how they should behave, but I lost my discretion & MILLIONS OF SORY for that! I wonder how can I tell u ‘bout it? How can I say it’s my fault? U knows who u is, so pls tell me what to do?! I can’t stand it any longer. No doubt, those were the things that haunted me every single night & day. Sometimes, I was like, escape from this town for a little while, but I can’t! It ain’t that easy! Well, I don’t have no choice, no way, so I’ll just make it out of this mess & swear it won’t happen again!!

GET DAT FUCKING BITCH AWAY!!

I was wonderin' why! Every time friends talk to her 'bout her bad attitude, she acts defensively & thinks dat we're against her. Whenever thr is a gatherin', she'll talk rubbish 'bout whoever is not thr! WTF, am so sick of it! She spreads gossip & untrue stories like it's part of her life! well, some ppl might find her interestin' cus she's more willin' to share, but it's not ethical to share my personal life with th rest of th world. plus, i officially dun need otha ppl to get into my personal stuff or else! some ppl who do not know me well will trust her words. I won't blame these ppl for trustin' her, but of course, i blame her! we've been friends for many years & i always thought her as a nice girl, until i found out how she's been stabbed & bad-mounthin' me behind my back. "Hey, i dun give u a FUCK! So, stop bitchin' me!"

blogging?!

i started blogging to offer a listening ear from a different view on a few things. dis blog won't cover anything specific, just whatever comes to my mind. Feel free to comment. I love any response or thought, so dat I can get on my writing. Hope you enjoy!